Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Postpartum a year after?

Everything happens for a reason.

This is something I've been telling myself constantly over the past few months. I got married. Got pregnant. Gave birth. I'm raising a lovely, active daughter. I'm working. Trying to be the best wife, mother, sibling, friend to the people I love.
And often I feel like I'm going out of my mind.

Can you have postpartum depression a year after giving birth?
Maybe I don't know what to call it. Lately, it seems as if I can't get my bearings straight and I am desperately trying to get my head above water. Rising water. Strong current. Madness.

It's a constant feeling of being overwhelmed. I thought that after I have the baby, everything would fall into place. Now...my house is still so disorganized, my "to-do list" keeps extending, I'm always tired when I get to work and when I get home. I'm uninspired, unhappy and drowning.

Help! I don't want to be here.

I've got a loving family, great friends, a stable job. I've been repeating those three things in my head as well. It will get better, right? I know God has plans for me and that everything happens for a reason. I know that He will not forget me. He will be my pillar of strength in this sea of loneliness.  

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